Love Yourself, Love Valentine’s Day
Why does Valentine’s Day trigger a panic response for some people? Or a sadness for others? Who even knows why we all got sucked into thinking a companionship was a prerequisite to enjoying the holiday? Let’s make Valentine’s Day a day to celebrate ourselves! We ALL have a Valentine. Just look in the mirror! You know who your first love should be? Yourself. If you are in a relationship, that can be a whole different set of stressors on this holiday. Don’t let it be. Talk to your love interest and decide on a reasonable way to acknowledge or celebrate the holiday.
What if when people asked, “are you getting anyone something for Valentine’s Day?” you replied, “Actually, yes - I’m treating myself to a day at the spa,” or “I sure am - I’m going to my favorite restaurant I only go to on special occasions,” or “yep - I’m getting the salted caramels I only buy for Valentine’s Day.”
To write this post I started by researching the origin of Valentine’s Day in an attempt to understand how we got to this place of thinking we have to be in a relationship or have a special crush to participate in the holiday. Interestingly, it’s very difficult to find a consistent answer. European countries seem to celebrate the holiday similarly to the United States with minor variations and specifications from country to country. I read from multiple sources how “non-Christian nations do not celebrate Valentine’s Day,” which led me to wonder then, is it a Christian holiday? No, people don’t head to church because it’s Valentine’s Day. However, it’s an interesting notion nonetheless.
Most of the legends, origins, whatever we want to call them lead to some sort of a profession of love. The GREAT NEWS is that we don’t have to wait for someone else to shower us with chocolates and flowers. Nor do we have to go searching for that special someone to call our Valentine. That special someone is you! Love on yourself this Valentine’s Day. If fresh flowers on your counter top brings you joy, go buy some fresh flowers and don’t feel guilty about spending the money. If seasonal candy calls your name every time you walk by that aisle, treat yourself and savor every last bite. A sprinkle of Valentine’s Day decor in any living space can put a smile on anyone’s face. Go for it! Use a special mug with a cute Valentine picture for the month of February? How about all of the above? Yes please!
Love yourself. You are the perfect match for you. In fact, you should go make a list of reasons you love yourself. Later, if you decide to share your heart with someone, make sure they appreciate and acknowledge those traits.
Let’s just imagine, hypothetically, the ‘worst case scenario’ of someone challenging why you are celebrating Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend (not likely, but trying to make a point here). It might be worth it to ask why they think a relationship is a requirement. Do they know the history of the holiday? Card companies, flower shops, candy makers, and others have shaped it into what it is today. What a shame if we pass these wonderful pleasures up unnecessarily! Do we have to be Irish to wear green, participate in a leprechaun fun run, or eat corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day? Nope.
Another thing I’m unsure of is what changes from elementary school to middle school when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day. As children we were so excited to give cards and maybe even treats to all of our classmates. Abruptly in middle school everything gets awkward, including the unwritten policy of how to exchange cards and gifts (or not). All of a sudden Valentine’s Day becomes a day of stress about who’s going to get something from someone. By the way, I don’t recommend this method of letting someone know you are interested in them. If you happen to know kids at this tender age, fill them in on how to treat themselves rather than waiting on someone else. It’s also important to talk about real relationships, but that’s a whole new conversation. Let’s go back to getting things for everyone, that was fun!
Recap:
You do have a Valentine (hint: it’s you)
Make a list of the reasons you love yourself
Turn your focus on to what you’ll do to celebrate this joyful holiday
soak up the treats and seasonal flare
And remember…take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!